Friday, October 1, 2010

Understanding and Less Demanding

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

In relationships with our bosses, in dating, friendships or marriage it can be easy to see what the other person isn't. We spend so much of our effort seeing what they're not and trying to change them which leaves us frustrated. This same frustration happens when things aren't working out in our jobs or dreams we're pursuing. When things don't work out it's easy to blame someone else, blame circumstances and point the finger but rarely do we take time to see these frustrations as opportunities to challenge ourselves.

My dad has constantly reminded me that when I go to work for someone I'm not there to change them. It's a simple truth that has been so liberating. It's liberating to know that I don't need to put my effort into changing my boss, or other relationships but instead my focus can be spent on how do I better serve them.


• IT LETS GO OF FALSE EXPECTATIONS - you can't expect someone to be what they are not. Accept who they are and find ways to embrace them, serve them and love them.

• IT MAKES YOU BETTER - when you spend time serving and not changing you become more understanding and less demanding in that relationship.

• IT KEEPS YOU STRONG - Saver your energy and effort for what you can change, not what you can't. There's nothing more draining than when you spend all your effort being frustrated with others and it keeps your from focusing on what you need to focus on.

• IT KEEPS BITTERNESS AWAY - probably the most important thing is it keeps bitterness and resentment from setting in. Proverbs 4:23 says, Above all else guard your heart. We'll lose passion, purpose for others and our dreams once bitterness sets in. Bitterness closes your heart.

This has been something I'm having to remember and practice daily because I'm yet to work for someone perfect, be in relationship with someone perfect or see everything fall into place everyday perfect.