Our memories are powerful, precious and potentially dangerous. All the good memories of my family are what make me love them so much, and even anticipate the next time we're all able to be together. At the same time, the bad memories have the potential to cause me to build up walls of bitterness, hurt and resentment. As I've been thinking a lot about what keeps me or others from moving forward in life I am continually seeing the power of our past.
I would say that I'm definitely someone who doesn't live in the past. You can do me wrong, and the next day I'm ready to be friends again. But, every so often I've found myself saying I can or can't do something because of what has happened in my life. If we're not careful we can live defined by our past. Maybe who God has designed me to be hasn't always lined up with my character, but there's hope in realizing that no matter what that doesn't disqualify me.
I like what it says in Isaiah 43:18-19
The LORD said:
18Forget what happened long ago! Don't think about the past. 19I am creating something new. There it is! Do you see it? I have put roads in deserts, streams in thirsty lands.
Our past often leaves us feeling like we've destroyed what was supposed to be. It leaves us feeling sometimes like we will now have to settle when it comes to our dreams, our relationships and our purpose. But I love what this verse says, and I believe all of those things in our life that seem dead and destroyed from our past decisions, can be made new again.
Your past is not your qualifier, or determiner... God is.
In the past year or so I've really felt challenged on many levels, but I've felt so fulfilled at the same time. It made me start to think about what has been rewarding in the midst of the challenges I've faced. As I thought about it, I realized I haven't feared failure. I've stepped into things professionally and personally knowing all I can do is give it my best and learn from the mistakes along the way.
One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis where he says, "Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement."
I will say not fearing failure isn't easy, but one thing that has made it easier has been to work for leaders who believe in me and allow me to grow and make mistakes. It's made me realize that as a leader I hope to always create an environment that allows mistakes and learning from those mistakes.
A few thoughts on what happens when we fear failure:
1. we stay comfortable
2. we stop growing
3. we limit ourselves
I will always set out to succeed, but I will embrace the opportunity to learn from my mistakes along the way so I can be even more successful the next time around.
Here's a note from my brother as we had to say goodbye to my niece just 20 days after she was born. She's with Jesus now, but missed by her Uncle J a ton already. She held a special place in all of our hearts before she was even born and will always.
Rori Christianne Keller
Yesterday at 7:57pm
As many of you may recall, at the birth of our daughter Michela, she introduced herself to the world via an e-mail message. My intention was to have her introduce her sister to the world in this e-mail. Unfortunately, this announcement doesn't carry the same joy and excitement.
This morning, March 22, at 12:30am, Rori Christianne peacefully passed away in her sleep. Since many did not get a chance to share in the life of Rori, I want to give you an opportunity to share a piece of the joy and journey we experienced.
Our story really began on January 26. Our doctor had some concerns that Rori was underweight. We had a few procedures done to find out what might be causing the problem and Rori was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. This is chromosomal defect where there is the presence of 3 copies of chromosome 18 instead of 2 in each cell. Although this is a very common chromosomal defect, most babies miscarry in the 1st or 2nd trimester and the children that deliver unfortunately have a very low survival rate past the age of 1. Upon this diagnosis, the doctors gave us the option and encouraged us to have her delivered right away if we wanted to see her alive and maybe in their mind since there wasn't a medical reason that she would live. Despite that report, our choice was clear, we would give Rori a chance at life and let her go full-term and if we were so blessed to have a miracle, then she would need our strength, faith and love.
On March 2, at 7:42am, Rori Christianne graced us with her beautiful cry. She was a lean 4 pounds 8 ounces and 17.25 inches long, we had been blessed with the gift of life. She had amazingly gained over a 1.5 pounds in the last 5 weeks by us choosing to have her go full-term and getting her to a healthier weight. There were certainly a few moments early on that were scary as parents, but Rori continued to fight and show her heart of a champion. We were so blessed to bring her home with us on March 7. She needed the aid of a little bit of oxygen and still had a feeding tube in her nose, but she was with us.
Over the following 2 weeks we certainly had our challenges as parents, balancing an active 16 month old Michela, sleep deprivation and noisy oxygen machines, but thru it all Rori continued to show improvement. She gained 11 ounces in the first 8 days of being home and we had increased her feedings by 20%, something the doctors didn't expect for a month. Needless to say, we as well as our doctors and nurses were very encouraged by her progress and surprised by this the events of today.
Early this morning, March 22, at 12:30am as we woke to give her a feeding, we found that she had peacefully died in her sleep. We had known that this was a possibility and common way of death for Trisomy 18 babies, but we never thought about it or lived in fear of it happening.
Words cannot express the hurt of this loss of our daughter, but in the 20 days that Rori brought joy to our lives, we learned so much. Behind the oxygen and feeding tubes was an absolutely beautiful baby. Her perfect little nose and lips were noticeably attractive and of great resemblance to her sister Michela. But the lessons that Rori taught us will never leave us. First of all, we learned to take life one day at a time. Making plans for the future is okay, but love, cherish and live each day for what it is, the good, the challenges and opportunities. Tomorrow, if we are blessed with it, will have its own time, but live out today. Secondly, you never know what someone is going thru in their life. If someone doesn't greet you with a smile, is seemingly distracted or just isn't driving fast enough ahead of you, do we know what a day is like in their shoes. Most of you did not know what a day was like for us and by our choice, this was a journey that we were on and we took each day one at a time.
We would never wish what we went thru on anyone but we do feel great compassion for any that have lost a child, it is a loss and pain that I never imagined possible. But we say beyond a shadow of a doubt, "we would rather have had and lost, then never had at all." The 20 days with Rori are never going to be enough, but she is always loved and never forgotten.
We want to thank the family members and friends that have tirelessly stood by our side in faith, in love and in presence. We are forever grateful for the compassion that you showed us.
We would like to invite you to a memorial service for Rori Christianne that will be held on Thursday, March 25 at 11am. Service will be at Geo.H. Lewis & Sons Funeral Home at 1010 Bering Drive, Houston, TX 77057.
We Miss you Rori!!
Andrew & Danielle
PS: Pics are Rori at 8 days and Michela (I love to do laundry) at 16 months
I once heard my pastor, Kerry Shook, mention that sometimes we need to risk being awkward in relationships and in life in order to get the breakthrough we want. I didn't think about it much until I started training a couple weeks ago for a shorter distance triathlon. I found myself training in ways that I hadn't trained before. I used to go to the gym and do what I was comfortable with while looking like I knew what I was doing. But this training is different and I'm having to risk being awkward to get the results I want.
Here's a few thoughts that I'm taking away from this experience that I think can apply to a lot of areas in life where we want to see new results.
1. ADMIT WE DON'T KNOW IT ALL
The first time I got in the pool I soon realized that I am not a swimmer and if i'm going to swim almost a mile I better get good. I noticed someone better in the lane next to me and humbly asked if they could train me. The first lesson with her made me feel like I was 4 years old learning to swim all over again. ( yes it was a girl which was even more humbling for me as a man ) What is it that you need help with? ASK.
2. STRETCH YOURSELF
Stretching yourself requires you to go beyond "comfort level". I could easily do just enough, but instead I'm stretching myself in order to remove current limitations. The first week I felt so much pain, but as time goes on it's getting better and better. When you get done with 1 mile in life why not see if you can do one more.
3. ENJOY IT WITH OTHERS
The one thing that's helped me stay motivated is having someone to train with. I used to train alone and that way I was the only one who knew my weakness. Training with someone exposes the truth about where you are and allows you to have someone in your life to push you past that.
All of these things can transfer into any area of relationships, life and leadership. I definitely have a long way to go in these things but I'm at least enjoying the rewards of being a little awkward.
I found a lesson to be learned in all the road signs on the freeway during my drive down to Houston yesterday. The thought behind those signs, and the purpose they serve are great reminders to designers and communicators.
Here's 3 principles they made me consider:
1. Clear Communication Road signs provide clear communication and eliminate any confusion. Does your design or message clearly communicate, or cause confusion?
2. Guide the audience Road signs are very intentional in guiding you even to the point of telling you exactly which lane and when you turn. With good design and communication the same applies and you have the ability to guide the audience where you want them to go.
3. Provide Purpose It seems simple, but every sign has a purpose. In design their should be purpose/value to what you do. Choosing elements carefully and not filling a page just to fill it. The same is true with communication and being selective with the words we use.
This isn't really anything new for most designers or good communicators, but it was a simple reminder for me yesterday from something I see everyday.
Tonight I was at the store and when the woman finished ringing up my items she said my total was sixteen dollars even. I smiled and got a bit excited and told her how cool is that. She was much less excited and sat there just staring at me waiting to pay. As I'm getting my cash out I'm smiling even bigger and remind her how cool that was. She continued to stare, and finally said – "it happens all the time." After that I told her that it doesn't happen to me all the time so this is cool.
What are the odds that the seven items I bought would be sixteen dollars even? It rarely happens to me, and so when it did I still thought it was the neatest thing ever. It made me think though that the first time that ever happened, she probably even thought it was neat. But as the thing that once was special continues to occur, the novelty wears off and we no longer are in awe of the simple things.
It just got me thinking, what was I once in awe of that I now take for granted. And in our upgrade and improve always society, how do we keep ourselves always appreciating the small things.
Here's a couple thoughts:
• take time to reflect on simple things that once made you happy • look at small things as big things – always • take a minute to celebrate those moments and don't just let them pass
I know for me as I continue in life I keep looking for something better, and I am less moved by the small things. I think it is good to return to the simple pleasures sometimes. Don't settle for simple, but sometimes return to it.
As I'm getting ready to lead worship tomorrow at Champions Life Centre, I find myself thinking and meditating on the songs and what they're saying. One song we're doing is called "Healer", written by Michael Guglielmucci. Michael claimed to be terminally ill and performed the song on Hillsongs DVD. He even went as far to perform wearing an oxygen mask. Later the word got out that this was all a bluff and Michael Guglielmucci was not terminally ill.
The song itself is actually an incredible song and I believe there's still power in it. I believe this because although he used it as a song promoting physical healing, it seems when you look at the lyrics he was maybe crying out for emotional healing.
Here's the lyrics to the verse:
You hold my every moment You calm my raging seas You walk with me through fire And heal all my disease
When I was running this morning I was remembering back to when I lost my mom. This song was one that brought great emotional healing to me as I sang and listened to those lyrics. I really believe that the reason this song still holds power is because it was an honest cry to God. He may not have even reallized that very well could have been a cry for emotional healing in his life.
Here's a couple thoughts from this:
• God can use anyone, in any state to get a message accross. • The motives weren't pure, but the message was. • Even when man lets you down, God's word still is strong and true.
I know this is all my opinion, but at the end of the day I feel strongly that the message is what needs to be remembered and not the motives. The message has power when we put it to our own lives, and our own situations. God is still a healer and sometimes it's not just the physical, but it's in the emotional hurts and dissapointments we face too. I hope you can find the song and still let it be a source of strength for you in any situation you need healing. Relationships, finances, emotionally – nothing is impossible to God and He is still a healer.
