Don't Look Now

Has anyone ever said, "don't look now"? What's your first response? Maybe you have more self control than I do, but my first response is always to look. Even though I was told not to, I still do it instinctively. I find it interesting that my instincts cause me to go against the grain and defy the request not to look. On the other hand, there have been times I really should have waited to look.

This response got me thinking about the way we make decisions. I believe that each of us has a risk taker in us and this response to "don't look now" is a healthy behavior in decision making. The response that looks is the one that overcomes obstacles, that embarks on new territory and produces results you've otherwise thought not possible. On the other hand, there's something to say about the warning we're given when told "don't look now". In our decision making there's also times to wait. We'll still see the same thing we've been waiting to see, but we need to go towards it with patience.

Some things that help me decide if I should go for it or wait are:

PEOPLE | it's always good to bounce big ideas off of people close enough in your life to not just tell you what you want to hear. Be careful though to not give ear to those who are always negative about your dreams. John Maxwell says there are "fire starters", and "fire extinguishers" in our lives. Negativity kills. Someone can help you see the negative side and still encourage you without being negative.

PRAYER | My pastor, Kerry Shook always says "lead from your knees". Every day decisions, great or small, should be given prayerful consideration.

INSTINCTS | I believe in following instincts. If at the end of the day you've talked to people, prayed about it and still don't know for sure – just go with your first instincts. The best, not the worst, thing that can happen is you'll learn from trying.

Understanding and Less Demanding

When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves. ~Victor Frankl

In relationships with our bosses, in dating, friendships or marriage it can be easy to see what the other person isn't. We spend so much of our effort seeing what they're not and trying to change them which leaves us frustrated. This same frustration happens when things aren't working out in our jobs or dreams we're pursuing. When things don't work out it's easy to blame someone else, blame circumstances and point the finger but rarely do we take time to see these frustrations as opportunities to challenge ourselves.

My dad has constantly reminded me that when I go to work for someone I'm not there to change them. It's a simple truth that has been so liberating. It's liberating to know that I don't need to put my effort into changing my boss, or other relationships but instead my focus can be spent on how do I better serve them.

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMEONE ELSE:

• IT LETS GO OF FALSE EXPECTATIONS - you can't expect someone to be what they are not. Accept who they are and find ways to embrace them, serve them and love them.

• IT MAKES YOU BETTER - when you spend time serving and not changing you become more understanding and less demanding in that relationship.

• IT KEEPS YOU STRONG - Saver your energy and effort for what you can change, not what you can't. There's nothing more draining than when you spend all your effort being frustrated with others and it keeps your from focusing on what you need to focus on.

• IT KEEPS BITTERNESS AWAY - probably the most important thing is it keeps bitterness and resentment from setting in. Proverbs 4:23 says, Above all else guard your heart. We'll lose passion, purpose for others and our dreams once bitterness sets in. Bitterness closes your heart.

This has been something I'm having to remember and practice daily because I'm yet to work for someone perfect, be in relationship with someone perfect or see everything fall into place everyday perfect.

Better Together

I spent some time this morning talking to an amazing artist from Crosspoint.tv, Stephen Brewster. The guy has a ton of passion and some great insights and a really refreshing perspective on the church, design, worship and over all experience. There were a lot of things I walked away with, but I thought I share one thought.

There's a phrase I've been dropping around here a lot this year and that is we are "better together". After talking to Stephen I couldn't help but think of how incredibly large the churches impact would be if we operated with that mentality. Pastors, designers or songwriters – it doesn't matter, we were all created to create, but what we create only gains value when we share it. Stephen says it best, "we don't lose our value in sharing creativity – the value is found when it's shared."

If you're organization, or church is doing something effective share the idea. If you're a designer, or your in marketing and you've found an effective way to communicate a message – share it. The trick then is for those who want to utilize the idea need to realize that it still has to be shaped uniquely for you, your community or organization. Sharing won't create copycats, it will only make for more efficient methods and strategies as they are shaped uniquely for each situation and individual church.

Check out the Crosspoint staff and church. They are doing amazing things under the leadership of Pete Wilson. I've listed a few ways for you to find and connect to the team there.

Pete Wilson - on twitter @pwilson | www.withoutwax.tv

Stephen Brewster - on twitter @b_rewster | www.stephenbrewster.me

Justin Davis - on twitter @justindavis33 | http://refineus.org

Jenni Catron - on twitter @jennicatron | www.jennicatron.tv

Heart or Habit

We've all heard people say "that's just the way we do it." If you're like me you can't stand that phrase and you're always trying to push the envelope and go beyond what has always been done. But when it comes to my own life I had to make sure I had the same drive. Do I accept this is what I've always done so I'll stick with what works? I just wonder sometimes if complacency sets in and we begin to do what we do out of habit and less out of heart?

I like this verse found in Romans 12:11- Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. What really stood out to me is the words never be lacking in passion. Passion is fueled by heart and not habit. Passion is what keeps us looking at situations and challenges with a solution mindset. I guess the challenge for me is am I doing my relationships, my job and my life out of habit or out of heart? With heart comes passion with habit, complacency.

The Common Denominator

What do success and failure have in common? CONSISTENCY. As I observe the successes and failures in my life, in relationships around me and in organizations and businesses I can always trace it back to one thing. CONSISTENCY. I either make consistent right choices that lead to success, or I make consistent wrong decisions that lead to failure.

This is nothing new, but sometimes forgotten. I don't think people expect perfection from us, our organizations or relationships, but I do believe they expect consistency. For relationships that may mean one thing, and for businesses another but in the end the consistency is crucial in our lives and organizations.

To be consistent it doesn't mean you don't change. The consistencies should be your core, but the methods in relationships and organizations should evolve to see maximum results. What are your core values, principles or standards? Are you staying consistent with them and evolving the way you execute them?

I'd love to hear any thoughts on this.

Roads In The Desert

Our memories are powerful, precious and potentially dangerous. All the good memories of my family are what make me love them so much, and even anticipate the next time we're all able to be together. At the same time, the bad memories have the potential to cause me to build up walls of bitterness, hurt and resentment. As I've been thinking a lot about what keeps me or others from moving forward in life I am continually seeing the power of our past. 

I would say that I'm definitely someone who doesn't live in the past. You can do me wrong, and the next day I'm ready to be friends again. But, every so often I've found myself saying I can or can't do something because of what has happened in my life. If we're not careful we can live defined by our past. Maybe who God has designed me to be hasn't always lined up with my character, but there's hope in realizing that no matter what that doesn't disqualify me. 

I like what it says in Isaiah 43:18-19 

The LORD said: 

¹⁸Forget what happened long ago! Don't think about the past. ¹⁹I am creating something new. There it is! Do you see it?  I have put roads in deserts, streams in thirsty lands. 

Our past often leaves us feeling like we've destroyed what was supposed to be. It leaves us feeling sometimes like we will now have to settle when it comes to our dreams, our relationships and our purpose. But I love what this verse says, and I believe all of those things in our life that seem dead and destroyed from our past decisions, can be made new again. 

Your past is not your qualifier, or determiner... God is. 

Don't Fear Failure

In the past year or so I've really felt challenged on many levels, but I've felt so fulfilled at the same time. It made me start to think about what has been rewarding in the midst of the challenges I've faced. As I thought about it, I realized I haven't feared failure. I've stepped into things professionally and personally knowing all I can do is give it my best and learn from the mistakes along the way.

One of my favorite quotes is from C.S. Lewis where he says, "Failures are finger posts on the road to achievement."

I will say not fearing failure isn't easy, but one thing that has made it easier has been to work for leaders who believe in me and allow me to grow and make mistakes. It's made me realize that as a leader I hope to always create an environment that allows mistakes and learning from those mistakes.

A few thoughts on what happens when we fear failure:

1. we stay comfortable

2. we stop growing

3. we limit ourselves

I will always set out to succeed, but I will embrace the opportunity to learn from my mistakes along the way so I can be even more successful the next time around.